puppycrush2 | week four

[ Thanks to Anna, Asa's in a slightly nicer outfit than usual, with even basic makeup done to match. It's a good start... right until Will stops in front of the chameleons, and she opens her mouth. ]

Actually, chameleons are completely harmless to people. They rely on their camouflage to hide from predators, though contrary to popular belief, its main purpose is for mating displays and temperature regulation.

It's easy to understand. They have four layers of skin — first, an outer layer for protection. Under that, there are two layers that contain different colour pigments, and finally one that reflects white. The exact colours they can display depends on the species, but the process is always the same. It works by dispersing or concentrating pigments...

[ This will go on for a while if nobody interrupts her. All in the dullest monotone imaginable. ]

[ okay, well, consider that will's going to be so into it, freeing anna from listening to it for now, looking nice as ever...

...

she just wants to check on sanji, actually, turning her head over. she knows this is gonna be a lot for him. he likes asa, after all -- and anna is So Determined Today to make sure asa knows that. ]

[Sanji's chosen a shirt of the orange pinstripe flavor this time, forgoing the usual suit jacket in favor of a vest to match with his typical dress pants and loafers. His legs definitely buckled when he saw Asa at the meetup for the ride. The location is something, but he's just happy to be spending with Asa and Anna, especially in light of everything else.

In fact, he appears absolutely taken with every word that comes out of Asa's mouth as she lectures about chameleons. He's not even looking at them, but at her. If he were allowed a cigarette, he'd be exhaling smoke in the shape of hearts right now.

Once there's a break in the regurgitation of all things chameleon, he wastes no time in piping up:] You're so smart, Asa! Have you always had an interest in reptiles, or is it just chameleons you like?

[everyone is dressed so cute for this outing and here is Will. still in his stupid coat]

[but much like Sanji, he is also focused on Asa's words, though probably for an entirely different reason]

So that's how they do it. . . they have more skin than a normal lizard does.

[nodnods!]

Where I come from, we have a monster called kapcerto. It looks like a cross between a person and a lizard, and it leaps out of hiding to attack you when you least expect it.

[little fistpump]

You always have to be prepared when exploring the nooks and crannies of a dark dungeon.

That's nice. [ Is all she says to Will, because you are INTERRUPTING HER. Sanji at least gets: ] I don't like reptiles in particular. This is basic knowledge.

Anyway, there are over 200 species of chameleon. Their name comes from the Greek "Chamai", meaning earth, and "Leon," meaning lion. Because of that, it's the same in most languages. Pretty convenient.

Their eyes can rotate to let them view two objects simultaneously, and they see in both visible and ultraviolet light. Most lizards can, but it's particularly important for chameleons, since most of them have UV markings as well. It's another way for them to communicate their moods with each other. When it comes to diet, they're mostly insectivores, though some larger ones will eat birds and other lizards...

[ Again. This continues. ]

[ ... ]

I feel like I'm back home.

[ very quiet grumble, just to herself, staring at both boys being enraptured by asa's LIZARD TALK. this is going to be their romantic double date outing? it just feels like they're on a field trip, and asa is their enthusiastic guide.

... then again, anna knows just how much asa prepared for this, so she can't fault her too much. it must be a nerves thing. she is going to reach over and press a button on the wall-- ]

"The chameleon is a distinctive and highly specialized clade of Old World lizards with 200 species currently known within the family Chamaeleonidae..."

[ and so the clean, clear voice of the information kiosk rattles of various facts, including their primary range (sub-Saharan Africa as well as Madagascar) and what kinds of habitats they tend to live in (tropical and subtropical areas, though many species have specialized to live in all kinds of lowland and mountain forests, woodlands, shrublands, savannas, and sometimes deserts).

...

yes, it's interrupting asa. anna stares at the chameleon with a placid smile, waiting until the kiosk ends its own information spill before turning it onto the other three. ]

Wow, that's pretty amazing, huh? We should get a move on -- there's a lot more to see, after all!

[ how on earth is she supposed to get asa and sanji together WHERE CHILDREN COME TO LEARN FUN FACTS ABOUT REPTILES. ]

[That's nice, Will. Stop interrupting Asa, who's brimming with basic knowledge.

However, Anna has all the allowance to interrupt. Sticking as respectfully close to Asa as he can (and after ignoring the kiosk in favor of listening to whatever she had to say), Sanji twists around with a wide grin once Anna makes the call to move on.]

Aye aye! Where to next?

[WOW. . . NOBODY CARES ABOUT HIS LIZARD MONSTERS. . .]

[hilariously, he does not seem put off by these responses, and as the automated voice dies down, he finds himself shimmying closer to Anna's side. time to move on, she said. he is ready!]

I thought I saw a snake enclosure a few exhibits down. Can we go there next?

[and then he'll talk about his world's snake monsters!]

[ Bestie why would you do this... she shoots Anna a Glance, but maybe her hand just slipped? It's fine. Sanji at least seems plenty interested in what she has to say (and why wouldn't he be, she's far better than any tour guide), which means this date is going perfectly.

After watching Will shimmy closer to Anna, she frowns — then links her arm through Sanji's with more confidence than she feels. Two can play at this game.

Pulling Sanji along with her, she leads the group to the first of the snake exhibits, which contains a large boa constrictor lazing about on a rock. Before anyone else can start talking, or PRESS ANY BUTTONS: ]

Boa constrictors are solitary outside of mating, which is why this one is housed alone. Only half of all females breed in a given year, and they're viviparous, meaning they give birth to live young rather than laying eggs. The gestation period lasts about four months, and on average, their litter size is about twenty-five. The young grow quickly after birth, reaching adult size at about four years of age, though they continue to grow at a slower rate for the rest of their lives.

Adults can live up to forty years on rare occasion, and females, as the larger of the two sexes, can grow up to thirty kilograms in weight. What they're best known for is their method of killing, which involves wrapping their coils around their prey until it suffocates, hence the "constrictor" in its name. This process is quick, usually only taking a few minutes...

[ This will continue again. ]

[ wait like is this actually working or

is she crazy. she feels insane. asa's so bold. while talking about snakes? hello? what fucking dimension is this. will shimmying up to her side is welcome, she's naturally sliding her hand into his and turning her head to whisper. ]

Mii-chan won't care, but since I'm gonna be popping by to see you, it's kinda important for me to know what your land's got, right? I'll hear you out.

[ don't worry she. sighs. she vaguely cares about his monster facts. since. apparent-fucking-ly this is working on sanji. what is she even here for. ]

[A full body tremor passes through Sanji when Asa loops their arms together. His eyes bulge before turning into hearts, and he allows himself to be pulled wheresoever her heart desires.

Like the chameleons before them, he gives the boa constrictor the barest of glances before turning his full attention to Asa. He can listen to her all day, especially if they're going to be this close!]

[he watches Asa take Sanji's arm with a small, amused smile. . . before leaning over to mutter at Anna, his fingers giving hers a tiny squeeze]

I've fought snake monsters called serpetia back home. Honesty, they're not very strong, but they can poison you so it's best to be careful.

They live in cold, dark places, like caves. Unless you're venturing out to go treasure hunting, it's not likely you'll run into one.

After a large meal, a boa constrictor can go weeks without eating. It's a result of their slow metabolisms, and lets them be more selective about their prey. They're ambush predators, so they...

[ She pauses in the middle of her dull exposition, her eyes flicking over towards Anna and Will. ]

Hey. Are you listening? I planned this date out with all three of you in mind, so I'd appreciate it if you paid attention.

[ ah... the content aside, it's almost like being on a cute date with just will, the boring drone of a tour guide speaking to someone else. anna's eyes drift up to him, slowly ignoring asa's speech as she goes on... ]

[ frick ]

W-We are, Mii-chan, don't worry! You really do know a lot, it's... impressive.

[ she................. is going to mcfreaking lose it. ]

[Hmm, Anna doesn't sound too enthused. Judging by their proximity, she and Will must have been engaged in something else.]

Nobody is as prepared as you, Asa! I'd love to hear the rest of what you have to say, but how about we let Yanami-san and Will take a look at the gift shop ahead of us? We probably won't have enough time for all the exhibitions, and I'd like to bring back a souvenir to remember this occasion. The four of us can regroup after that.

[oh god. called out. Will immediately stands at attention, almost like a soldier?? what the heck, Will]

Very impressive! Ambush predators. Got it!

[is he just echoing the last thing she said. good job, Will]

[. . . also he is giving Sanji a curious look at that suggestion, before deferring to Anna for an answer. he trusts her judgment, here!]

[ Again, she squints suspiciously... but she's arrogant enough to assume that everyone else is as genuinely fascinated by her explanations as Sanji is. The suggestion that they split up earns a frown — it's a deviation from her plans — but she can't argue with the logic behind it, so she somewhat begrudgingly nods in approval. ]

Alright. We should be done in about two hours, so I guess I'll see you then.

[ Godspeed, Sanji. ]

[ oh

my god

sanji she owes you the whole fucking world the moment asa's eyes aren't on her she's giving their tallest member the most grateful, loving look in the whole wide world, he's truly a man of the women, there's no one greater...

...

oh, right, her boyfriend's here. ]

Yup! Will totally see you then! Catch me up on all the lizard facts later, okay?

[ like when she needs to sleep and can't. gripping will's arm tighter. okay. they're escaping. oh my god. gift shop, he said? easy. sure. yeah. it doesn't look like asa and sanji need any help anyway, this... will surely go well!!!!!!!!!!!!!

seriously, what fucking planet is she on that this poor excuse of a date spot is working out...? ]

[Two hours?! . . . This is fine. He's more accustomed to marine life, so it won't hurt to learn a thing or two about reptiles that are more terrestrial. Maybe she'll have some culinary-adjacent nuggets of wisdom to share. That would be very exciting.

Grinning, Sanji waves Anna goodbye with his free hand before turning back to Asa and the boa constrictor. Geez, Will's got some ways to go if he's straightening up from something like that.]

Now, where were we . . . Ambush predators, right?

[oh. . . guess they're escaping! he kind of gives Asa and Sanji an apologetic look as Anna tugs him away, but. . . if this is how Anna and Sanji want things to be, then he won't complain. even if he wanted to spend time with all four of them together]

[once they are out of earshot of Sanji and Asa--]

I feel like I'm missing something, here.

Like what?

[ apparently nothing wrong to her. still not the ideal date spot... she got all dressed up for lizards? girls around the world are crying.

anna will have fun don't worry but my god. ]

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