There was no one there for me when I found my mother dead in our apartment in the worst part of town. No one was there when they whispered that it was my fault she was gone. That the strain of taking care of me was too much for her.
There was no one there when I got shoved from foster home to foster home to foster home...
There was no one there when I ran through mementos all on my own. Learning it and nearly dying hand in hand... There was on one there when things were cold and dark and wet and the world was fading from existence.
[God he feels like crying but he bursts into laughter instead, unhinged and broken sounding as it is, it is still a laugh.]
I am unwanted everywhere I go. Why would here be any different? Of course there would be someone that loathed my existence. That would make this as hard as possible. Why wouldn't there be? Nothing can ever be easy. Or simple.
So who fucking needs any of it? I got this far... I just need to go a little further. And I don't care what anyone says or what they think. I'll be completely free of all of it and this experience was just another stepping stone that is better off forgotten. Or we'll fail and good! Good! Who cares!? Friendship and love... What a fucking joke!
no subject
[What a fucking joke.]
There was no one there for me when I found my mother dead in our apartment in the worst part of town. No one was there when they whispered that it was my fault she was gone. That the strain of taking care of me was too much for her.
There was no one there when I got shoved from foster home to foster home to foster home...
There was no one there when I ran through mementos all on my own. Learning it and nearly dying hand in hand... There was on one there when things were cold and dark and wet and the world was fading from existence.
[God he feels like crying but he bursts into laughter instead, unhinged and broken sounding as it is, it is still a laugh.]
I am unwanted everywhere I go. Why would here be any different? Of course there would be someone that loathed my existence. That would make this as hard as possible. Why wouldn't there be? Nothing can ever be easy. Or simple.
So who fucking needs any of it? I got this far... I just need to go a little further. And I don't care what anyone says or what they think. I'll be completely free of all of it and this experience was just another stepping stone that is better off forgotten. Or we'll fail and good! Good! Who cares!? Friendship and love... What a fucking joke!